Saturday, Oct. 04, 2008 - 11:09 PM
Can't even remember what exactly prompted me to post this on the Purple Pages way back on May 6, 2007, but it feels appropriate to say it again, what with perception and perspective being big topics nowadays...
Everything any of us think about Clay Aiken is a reflection of ourselves. Everything. There is very little that is empirical knowledge when it comes to him. It's all personal opinion and reaction.
There are people in the world who think he's a jerk. There are people in the world who think he can do no wrong. And there are people at every point in the spectrum in between.
There are people who think he lives a sex-filled, sordid life. There are people who think he's an innocent virgin. And everything in between.
Some of us think he cusses when he's comfortable with the people within earshot. Some of us think he's extremely thoughtful and considerate of other people's feelings. Some of us think he says what he thinks we want to hear most of the time instead of the actual truth. Some of us think he lets other people make too many decisions for him...and some think other people need to intervene more. Some of us think his song selection reflects his own taste in music...and some wish like hell that it doesn't.
Those of you who really know me know where I fall on all of those. ;o)
I'm sure this is true about most celebrities, but I feel it more when it comes to Clay, because I spend more time talking about him with people than other individual celebs. (Every fandom I've been a part of in my life has been about a movie/tv show/band...never a person. It's a different vibe.)
It feels like you know Clay Aiken. But you don't. None of us do. You know, quite intimately, your perception of him. Your perception focuses on the things you and he have in common, and reduces the importance of those things you don't. Your Clay is someone you could totally hang with and he'd really like you if he knew you.
(For example, I want to believe that he truly is okay with people who aren't Christian, and would never try to convince me, or any other non-Christian, that we should change our minds about it. I really want to believe that. But there's a chance that I'm wrong. Maybe it's different now than it was a couple years ago when I was convinced that he was trying to shove something unwelcome down my throat...I have my own preferences as to what gets...ahem...shoved down my throat, and Christianity isn't on that list...but I truly have no idea what would happen if we met and got to know each other well enough that religion became a topic of conversation.)
This first occurred to me when I started reading and writing fanfiction. There are a lot of different kinds of writers out there, and I don't just mean "bad" and "good". I'm talking about the way they portray the character "Clay Aiken". I have to believe that most writers show him the way they see him...and if you look at stories as a window into the writer's perception of Clay, you'll notice there's a wide variety of perceptions out there. He's even been portrayed at least once as a rapist. That probably shocks you. It shocked the hell outta me. But more shocking to me than someone writing a scene like that was the positive reaction readers had to it. I honestly became more than a little freaked out, and I kinda hoped names were being added to the infamous "list". Clearly there are people out there seeing things in him that I have never witnessed.
If you read my stories (and I'm not suggesting that you should...no fic-whoring this time!), you'll see that I think he does a lot of things he shouldn't have, says things he means but later regrets when he gets some perspective, and sometimes pisses people off. But he's also a sweet, loving, and occasionally insecure guy who tries like hell to do the right thing. But another element in my stories is that there is always someone, usually his "leading lady", who tells him exactly what she's thinking...and even if he gets a little mad about it, he still respects her for her honesty.
That's who Clay Aiken is to me. Maybe that's not how you see him, but that's my Clay. Your mileage may vary. ;o)
-- me, 5/6/07
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