Sunday, Nov. 05, 2006 - 10:36 PM
Summary in paraphrase form of the now-infamous section of Larry King Live:
Larry: What about this talk of you not answering the question of whether or not you're gay?
Clay: I answered those questions repeatedly years ago on TV and in magazines and nobody seemed to accept my answer. People kept asking, in almost every interview I did, as if I'd never said anything about it. I figure it doesn't matter if I answer or not, because everybody's made up their minds, so my answer doesn't change that. I have been completely honest and clear in my response in the past, and people just assumed I was lying. So I�m done.
Larry: You answered the question?
Clay: Yeah.
Larry: With "no"?
Clay: Right.
Larry: Can I give you some advice?
Clay: (sighs) Sure.
Larry: If you answered the question, people would stop asking.
Clay: (tries not to roll his eyes)
This just in�Larry King has a severe case of attention deficit disorder. As if you didn�t know.
(Either that or he really does fall asleep between interview questions, as has been rumored for years.)
Is it rude to ask �the question�? In most cases, absolutely.
Do we live in a world where being rude is seen as edgy and cool? Sorta.
Do people get the wrong idea when you refuse to answer a question? Yup.
My favorite thing about this recent �ooh, look at Clay Aiken refusing to say if he�s straight or gay� crap is all those people who aren�t fans like us who memorize every word he�s ever said (hee!) think this is new. They parrot those newsy gossipy bloggy things and say that he needs to answer the question. Fans swoop in and quote, even citing sources, the exact, word-for-word answers he gave in the past, in an effort to explain his current position on the subject. But, just like Larry King, they don�t see the connection.
And Diane Sawyer? Excuse me, but you PERSONALLY had a conversation about �the gay thing� three years ago. You�re supposed to be a real journalist, not a suspendered hack like Larry. Maybe it might have been a good idea, while you were collecting pictures and video clips to run during your inane voiceover, that you selected that choice and oh-so-relevant moment from when you interviewed him for Primetime Live. But no. Can�t make it sensationalistic if you tell everyone that you already got the answer to that invasive question years ago. It�s no fun that way. And considering the way the GMA piece was edited, it wouldn�t surprise me if Clay brought up that Primetime Live interview as an example of a time when he�d been pretty damn clear about his answer and you and your people decided it just wasn�t good TV. Which is, obviously, more important.
But with all the talk about �the gay thing�, there�s something else I wish Clay would bring up when discussing this particular �talking point.�
When I think of the Rolling Stone interview when he first talked candidly about his sexuality (one of several interviews people conveniently forget when pointing fingers and giving see-I-told-you looks), I don�t only think of �the gay thing�. I mostly recall �the masturbation thing�.
Remember? They asked him if he was a virgin. Then they asked him if he masturbated. And then they asked him what his favorite breakfast cereal was. In that order.
Can you recall any interview with a celebrity that included questions like that? We�re not talking about Justin Timberlake offering, without anyone asking, a bunch of information about how he does a lot of drugs at parties. This isn�t Pamela Anderson talking ad nauseum about her implants. This is a magazine interview with a then-new singer, one who had yet to release an album, someone they thought was good enough to put on the cover�and they asked him point blank if he masturbated.
When Clay talks now about how it was never appropriate to ask him personal questions of a sexual nature, he�s not just talking about whether or not he�s ever kissed a boy. When he says he should have drawn a line about that kind of invasive questioning much earlier, it�s not in response to recent tabloid crap.
It�s not just inappropriate to ask him these questions�it�s inappropriate to ask anyone.
(Think I�m wrong? Ask the next cop who pulls you over how often he chokes his chicken. Hey, he initiated the conversation, he was obviously asking for it. What�s the difference between a guy who wants to be a singer and a guy who wants you to drive slower and use your turn signals? Clearly they are both people about whose sex lives you are entitled to probe. Go ahead. I look forward to hearing what happened next.)
CNN.com actually had a poll right before Clay�s last appearance. They wanted to know if it was appropriate to ask him about his sexuality. I know they got a lot of responses. Here was mine:
Until you find it appropriate to ask Hugo Chavez if *he�s* gay, or Barbra Streisand if she and James Brolin have ever done the nasty on the kitchen table, then NO, it�s never appropriate to ask Clay Aiken, or any other famous person, about their sex life. That question says far more about the interviewer than it does the interviewee.
But as happy as I am about the way Clay�s been handling this lately, a part of me wishes he�d go a little further. And the fic-writer in me can�t resist a little roleplay�
ATTENTION�the following is entirely fantasy. It did not actually happen. If you wish to repost bits of it elsewhere (and I kinda wish you wouldn�t�if you want people to read it, send them here so they get the full picture), you�d better not tout it as real!
Generic Interviewer: I know you�re tired of talking about this, but I appreciate your willingness to talk to me today.
Clay Aiken: Yeah, I really am, you know, but I think this might be the best way to finally address this issue. And I mean finally. As in, I�m not ever going to talk about it again. So everybody pay attention! (laughs)
GI: You know you�re going to make me famous.
CA: Lucky you. I hope people don�t start asking you who you�re sleeping with.
GI: Good point. So, let�s get this first bit out of the way. You�re not gay.
CA: Nope.
GI: And you�ve said that numerous times.
CA: Right. I mean, seriously. Are you gay? No. Are you gay? Nuh-uh. Are you gay? Nope. I keep answerin' and they keep askin'. And now it's turned into are you coming out of the closet? That's like asking a man if he's stopped beating his wife. There is no right answer to that question. I say no, and they're like oh, so you're staying IN the closet. You really should come out of there. It's like being surrounded by a bunch of jerks...(looks at the camera) no offense...who keep throwing rocks at me. Eventually I'm going to either throw a rock back at them or go in the house. I don't think they want me to start throwing rocks, do you?
GI: You have some rocks to throw?
CA: Oh, I might have a few. (laughs) But I�m not going to, because I�m not gonna play that game. It�s just stupid. I mean, look how much press I got for saying I�m not going to talk about it any more. Imagine what these people would do if I started hitting back! Apparently I�m absolutely fascinating to them. I guess I�m so interesting that even my private life is front-page news. Not that it�s anything to write home about.
GI: And you�ve made it pretty clear now that the question was never appropriate to begin with. Or, at least, you�ve tried to.
CA: Right. Even though nobody ever really had the right to ask me, you know, because it�s not their business, I went ahead and answered stuff like that because I was new to all this and I was just being nice. I was nervous and was just blurting things out without thinking. And even though at the time I thought it was weird for them to be asking me, I really didn�t think too much of it until later when it became, like, this really big deal.
GI: Why do you think it�s a big deal?
CA: Oh lord, I don�t know. I don�t know why people care about anything to do with me, let alone that.
GI: The weird thing is it doesn�t appear to be your fans who want to know.
CA: Yeah, it�s as if the fans are as sick of it as I am. I mean, maybe some of them want to know if I�m seeing anybody, just out of curiosity, but I don�t get the impression that it�s much more than wanting to know my favorite color. Which is another thing I don�t talk about.
GI: So it�s someone else then. Pushing the issue.
CA: Yeah, it�s people who don�t like me, and I guess they think making people think I�m gay is a way to make me go away. Which is weird, because, like, last time I checked, there wasn�t anything wrong with somebody being gay. Especially in the media. I mean, when was the last time someone came out and said they were gay and it hurt their career?
GI: Unless you�re a politician.
CA: (laughs) But, you know, those people aren�t in trouble for being gay. They�ve done a bunch of other things. The gay part was what was being thrown up as some kind of distraction.
GI: Right. If you had to leave Congress just for being gay, Barney Frank would have been gone a long time ago.
CA: Exactly.
GI: Does it bother you that some people think you�re gay?
CA: I don�t know. I mean, it doesn�t bother me in one sense because it�s not like it�s offensive. If they think that, then they would be wrong�but they could be just as wrong thinking that I�oh, I don�t know�like I was a genius at math or something. Like if someone thought I�d won the Nobel Prize for Physics. (laughs)
GI: But on the other hand�
CA: Well, on the other hand, there�s that unfortunate aspect of it where people see me as a liar. Because I�ve been telling them for years that I�m not, and then they think I am, which means I lied about it. And the other crap, like the stuff the tabloids talk about, just fuels that. It�s become more than someone nudging someone else and saying, you know, �I think that guy�s gay.� It�s like pointing and screaming �He�s gay, and he�s a liar, and he�s a rotten awful person and everyone who thinks he�s not is an idiot.�
GI: Kind of jumping on the homophobic bandwagon and painting you as a bad guy.
CA: And, you know, it�s so frustrating, because these people feel like they have to go into such detail. As if the more details they give in their stupid story makes it sound more real. And, you know, I�ve got gay friends. I�ve asked them about the stuff these people are saying. They just laugh.
GI: They think it�s funny?
CA: Well, not in the sense that it�s funny that someone�s saying stuff like this about me. They say the kinds of details in the story are�well, they don�t make sense. I probably shouldn�t say anything more about that, because it would just get too graphic. And someone would snip and paste one little quote from me out of this and suddenly I�m�oh, never mind.
GI: This has got to be a pain.
CA: Well, yeah. I�d say where it�s a pain, but people will take that wrong, too. (laughs) And it�s really frustrating that I even get criticized for the way I say no. A friend of mine sent me some quote from some guy�s blog where he said that if I really was straight�oh, and he made that such a big �if�, like it could only be spoken about hypothetically�he said that the proper way to answer the question would be something like �No, I�m not. But thanks so much for asking, because it gives me the opportunity to tell everyone how wonderful I think gay people are and how supportive I am of gay issues�� yadda yadda yadda. If they want to ask me how I feel about this issue or that issue, and it�s the proper venue to talk about politics or something, then yeah, I might be willing to answer pretty much any question. But it�s got to be the right place and the right time, because politics doesn�t belong just anywhere. And sometimes people don�t want to hear how you feel about this and that.
GI: Just ask the Dixie Chicks.
CA: Yeah, no kidding. Shut up and sing.
GI: Well, we could go on about that all night. I�d better get back to my notes.
CA: (laughs) Probably not a bad idea.
GI: The weirdest thing about this, the constant is-he-or-isn�t-he, is the obsessive nature of it. Some of these people seem to make it a full-time job.
CA: From what I�ve heard, if they�re not attacking me, they attack my fans.
GI: Some say your fans attacked first.
CA: I don�t know. When someone is already lying, why should I believe anything they say after that point, you know?
GI: You don�t think your fans have done anything to keep this going? I mean, not on purpose, but adding fuel to the fire?
CA: (sighs) Wow. That�s a tough one. I mean�they�re very supportive. And organized, which is kind of weird. And when someone says something bad about me, they sort of�well, some of them kinda spring into action. I think sometimes they go overboard, yeah. I know they think they�re helping, but�maybe the way they�re being skewered now by these people will make them realize that it�s better to ignore certain people. Like it�s okay if someone gives my album a bad review. It�s okay if someone doesn�t like me. And while it may not be okay if someone is spreading lies about me�well, I don�t know what to say about that. I can�t tell them not to defend me if they really feel like they have to.
GI: But they need to pick their battles better?
CA: That would probably be it, yeah.
GI: Do you think there�s a connection between the fanaticism of your fans and the way the media treats you?
CA: What do you mean?
GI: Well, a lot of articles and interviews seem to start with a blurb about how fanatical and devoted your fans are.
CA: True.
GI: I�m sure lots of people have devoted fans. I mean, they�d have to, if they�re going to have careers that last more than a few months. But other singers, musicians, actors, and so forth don�t have words like �fanatical� and �rabid� in articles about them.
CA: Or �grandmotherly�. That one kills me. I mean, I can see the people in the audience. I love that there�s a wide range of ages out there, and maybe some people think it�s weird that I have fans who are, like, my mom�s age. But these writers always talk about my fans like they�re all matronly and conservative and stuff. Good lord, if you saw the things my fans say about me on the internet, or saw some of the stuff they send me�or even the way they look at me sometimes�believe me, you would not call them matronly and conservative! Some of them might be, but most of them�oh no. Not at all. (laughs)
GI: You say �conservative�. That�s a word that gets used a lot by the people who attack you. They say your fans are Christian and conservative and wouldn�t accept you if they knew �the truth". Or I guess I should say the made-up �truth� that supports their agenda.
CA: Right. Well said. And they�re wrong about my fans, I think. I mean�look, it�s a really diverse group. Like really diverse. More than I would have expected. There are some who think I�m some kind of angel. Or a saint or something. And there are people who are under the impression that I�m secretly getting all kinds of crazy action behind the scenes that I�m not talking about. Most people fall somewhere in between.
GI: You�ve poked fun at the �angel� label before.
CA: Right. I did a �choirboy� joke on my tour last summer to make fun of that. And I talked about it some in my book. I really don�t get why anyone would think I�m all perfect or something. I mean, good lord, look at me! If there�s anyone who�s not perfect�!
GI: The media likes to play up that angle. That �squeaky-clean� thing.
CA: Yeah. And, I mean, I�m not dirty. I try to make sure I present myself decently in public, you know? That doesn�t mean I don�t�you know, I�m still a guy. I like a good joke, even if it�s, you know, a little blue. (laughs) I�m a slob at home, but I try not to walk out the door looking like one. I try not to say words I wouldn�t say in front of my family, but that doesn�t mean I never say them. I don�t sing about certain things, but that doesn�t mean�it doesn�t necessarily mean I don�t do certain things from time to time. I�m just not going out of my way to be all nasty as part of my public image. If 50 Cent wants to play up the fact that he got shot in the butt when he was in a gang, okay, go ahead. I don�t get it, but whatever. That�s him. This is me. He�s got the right to present himself that way, just like I�ve got the right to try to be more�
GI: Wholesome?
CA: You know, I�m starting to dislike that word. I�m not a glass of milk. I just want to sing, and I�d like to try to be a performer you could let your kids listen to and not worry. Sometimes it�s not easy, but it�s easier than if I were trying to be something I�m not.
GI: I think people might be surprised to hear you say you don�t want to be called �wholesome.� I think a lot of the media has been playing up your �nice guy� image to the point where they make it look like you�re the one saying you�re an angel. Do you get that feeling?
CA: I can�t expect people who barely know anything about me to pay closer attention, you know? There�s nothing I can do about that. But yeah, there seem to be a lot of people out there who think I�m going around calling myself that. And a lot of the fans who fly off the handle every time some writer mentions me in a negative way in an article shove the angel thing in their faces. Some guy writes that he doesn�t like my singing, and he gets a hundred emails telling him about all the work I do for charity, as if it has anything to do with his opinion of my music. That doesn�t help much, I guess.
GI: So, if the media portrays you as a �self-described angel� and you have fans who perpetuate that, do you think that causes some people in the media to want to tear you down?
CA: Maybe. They�ll do that to just about anyone. And lot of it isn�t just poking fun at me, it�s poking fun at the people who like me. The way they always mention them and describe them so strangely�it�s pretty insulting.
GI: A big part of what�s fueling the fire set by the tabloid stuff seems to be not so much wanting to hurt you, but trying to hurt your fans.
CA: That�s the part that really upsets me. I mean, obviously I can take the crap people say about me, because I�ve been doing it, to some extent, all my life. But I really hate it when people insult people I care about. And yeah, I don�t really know these people, but I do care what gets said about them. And, again, I wish they�d turn their backs to it and not give the jerks all that attention.
GI: So they might not be intentionally making things worse, but by giving the people the attention they want�?
CA: They�re not helping. And I understand it, I really do. There�s always that part inside you that wishes you didn�t walk away. And sometimes there have been specific things I wish I�d responded to, because I feel like something needed to be said. But you make a decision and you have to stick with it.
GI: What would you tell your fans to help them with this?
CA: I�d have to say that they�re lucky they aren�t being singled out as individuals, and the only place they�re getting slammed is some blog on the internet that nobody cares about. It would be like some woman who lives at the end of your street who sometimes gives you a dirty look for no reason, and you just ignore her. It�s not important enough to lose sleep over. You all have each other�we have each other. They can�t hurt us. Anyone who would put so much energy into something that is not only not true, but none of their business�well, they�re just small. Insignificant. Unimportant. And maybe they�ll dry up and blow away if we pretend we don�t see them.
GI: Think that�ll work?
CA: Probably not. (laughs) But it�ll help us all to relax and enjoy each other�s company in the meantime. Life�s too short to worry about crap like that.
GI: Okay, we�re almost out of time. To sum up?
CA: To sum up, the answer is still no. And I�m done for good. Thanks.
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